You know what I really don't understand? How things can just get so messed up so fast.
I mean seriously, it's just cruel. I'm not sure if it's fate messing with me, or what the deal is, but one day I'll be having the best day of my life, and the next I straight up feel like someone punched me in the side.
It's like when you have that moment where something happens that you really wish didn't happen. You have this split second wish that you could go back in time and make it never happen. But if you could do that, it never would have happened, and you wouldn't be sitting there worrying about wishing it hadn't happened. Time travel is highly confusing.
And then after that moment of wishing you could go back in time, you wish you could be in a dream. Just one of those super real dreams that when you wake up you're not sure if it really happened or it was a dream. But you know that's not true either.
Even though you don't want to admit it, that terrible, gut-wrenching feeling in your stomach is real, and you can't do anything about it.
Yeah that's pretty much the worst feeling ever. That whole situation.
And lately, I feel like that's happening a lot. I just feel like life is messing with me so bad. And I'm trying so hard to look at this positively. To tell myself that it's going to be okay, and fate always makes it work out at some point. But then I can't help but thinking about those people it doesn't work out for. Because I was always taught that everything will eventually be okay. But if that were true, we wouldn't have homeless people. There wouldn't be children starving in Africa. And yeah, I'm in neither of those extreme categories.. But things might not always turn out okay. And as depressing as that is, I've sorta come to realize it lately.
But I hate it. I hate that life can't always be the happy-go-lucky way that movies always make it out to be, and how stories you hear when you're little make it seem. I wish the world could actually be like that. But it can't.. And there really isn't anything that I can possibly do about it. I have no way of making life turn out how I want. I'm not sure about everyone else, but I believe in fate. I believe that some things are just meant to happen. I don't think you're entire life is planned out, but do think some things have to happen throughout your life. Right now, I just really hope those things turn out good, and not bad.
