So to start, culminating project is coming up.
My stress level is very high because of this. I have basically been done for the last like month and a half, but I'm still scared out of my mind... I just want it to be doneee. I really wish I could skip the whole presenting part. I don't do well speaking in front of people. But the silver lining here..... Once I finish this, I will only have to pass English and I can officially graduate high school! And then it's off into the great unknown that is the rest of my life.
Second I have learned recently that hurting people is the worst thing in the entire world. Not hurting physically, but emotionally. Like it really sucks to get hurt, but hurting people is even worse... It kinda just makes you feel like a terrible person. And lately I feel like I have been unintentionally hurting people, even if it's only a small amount. And it's really starting to blow. I feel terrible. And sadly I can't find a silver lining to this one..
Next up is crying.
I am terribly sick of the massive amount of upset tears that seem to get spilled when you are of the female gender... It's like we have an endless water supply and we have to just get rid of some of it by crying! And it's not fun. It causes blotchy skin, red puffy eyes, and headaches. It's just terrible. I guess my silver lining here is that once I cry I feel way better.
And this may be the last one, but I am soo frustrated with pole vault and lifting. I have been stuck trying to clear 9 for way to long now. I'm going insane. And lifting wise, I have this stupid mental block that doesn't allow me to lift as much as I actually can. I'm going insane. I think that mental block is what's wrong with my vaulting too... Ugh I just have mental problems. Silver lining here, I am going to break that mental block tomorrow at my meet. I will clear 9, and there is not way I won't.
Now I guess I should end this post with something positive.
It's almost summer! I just have to make it through a little bit more, and then all stress will go away, I can relax, get tan, get a job, and just have the best summer ever. I'm highly excited.
The oldest person to ever be issued a driver's license in the U.S. was 109!
:)
Relax, the culminating project is nothing to worry about. And as far as pole vaulting goes, you will reach 9 feet as soon as you go outside of your comfort zone. That's all life is. In order to be successful you've gotta be daring, you gotta take a leap of faith (literally) and thrust yourself into the breach and no matter what obstacles are in your path, you've gotta leave that comfort zone if you hope to conquer it. 9 times out of 10, you'll fail. But that failure makes you a stronger person. If you are not comfortable talking in front of people, well then you gotta step outside of that comfort zone and stand in front of people and just talk. You talk ALL the time anyway, whats a few extra people who you don't know? Get out of the comfort zone and be daring. And as far as hurting people goes, who cares if someone gets their feelings hurt. If they get a sore dick, or their panties in a bunch because of something you say or do, or don't say or don't do, that is not your concern. If they get hurt by you then they themselves are not very mature and you are not doing them any kind of favor by bending over backwards to not hurt them. In life you'll get your shit hurt, oh well, you become stronger as a result. Set your goals and head straight for them and don't stop for anyone. You need to be a strong individual to care for others without hurting yourself in the process. And julie, you don't have that strength yet, but you will in time. So for now focus on YOU. If people truly care for you, then they won't be phased by you "hurting" them occasionally. There, that's my 2 cents. Take from it what you will. Good Luck.
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